MELIORA, 20min,. Estonia
Directed by Kristin Hildebrand
Emma is a perfectionistic painter with a rich husband and great style. But it soon becomes clear that her perfect life is merely an illusion. Emma is forced to navigate self-doubt, jealousy and to face the darkest parts of herself. Her repressed emotions come to life in the form of a Monster, who shows no mercy to those who have wronged her. In the end, Emma must choose between staying in her gilded cage or facing the Monster.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt32384134/

Get to know the filmmaker:

1. What motivated you to make this film?

This film began as something completely personal, a result of spiraling mental health and feeling unable to express myself artistically. I was trying to capture a certain emotion and then built a plot and message around it. As the themes became more clear I became more motivated to see the project through; when I discussed the idea with people, especially other women, I realized that I wasn’t alone in many of the things I felt. I met with several female painters to learn more about the struggles they’ve faced in their careers and it was uncanny how similar their stories were to what I had written, down to a similarly abusive relationship. It made me feel like I was on the right track, that it wasn’t just a selfish ego project but something that could resonate with audiences and make people feel heard.

I researched a lot about emotional abuse and the effects it has on victims. The common denominator is that they get isolated, cut off from loved ones and dependent on their abuser, in Emma’s case both emotionally and financially. When your self-worth becomes so tied to another person’s opinion of you, the smallest look or word can cut deep and drive you insane, yet leaving the relationship feels impossible. I think there is a certain power in art and especially film language to communicate things that we might not otherwise be able to put into words. We worked hard with my cinematographer Luisa

Valgiste and sound designer Venla Rummukainen to put viewers in Emma’s headspace.

20 minutes is a very short time to dive deep into something but I hope that if nothing else we managed to capture that feeling of being trapped.

2. From the idea to the finished product, how long did it take for you to make this film?

Meliora was my bachelor’s thesis film, but I started developing the idea already in my second year of university. Back then it was just a vague idea of a painting coming to life and doing the things that the protagonist was unable to do. At first I shelved it as an idea for a novel, as it seemed too ambitious for a film school budget. If you’ve ever been to Estonia you know that what you see in the film is not how it generally looks like in terms of architecture and aesthetic, so finding suitable locations was a huge challenge. Getting the film produced in my second year would have been too difficult but I was advised by professors to keep it as a thesis idea. The extra time really benefited the project and I was able to get a passionate crew around me who made it all possible. In total, it took about 1.5 years to get from initial thought to finished film.

3. How would you describe your film in two words!?

Beautifully horrific

4. What was the biggest obstacle you faced in completing this film?

The biggest obstacle was that this was my first time directing — I had directed two short documentaries as part of the curriculum before, but I quickly realized that narrative films are something else entirely.

It was a struggle to find my footing and there were times I felt I’d bitten off more than I could chew. I was 20 when I started working on the film and it’s difficult to take yourself seriously at this age, much less to find the confidence to lead a crew and make all the decisions that you have to make as a director. Somehow we got it made though and I’m thankful to all the people who helped me along the way from professors, crew, crowdfunding donors and friends who lent a shoulder to cry on.

It’s strange looking back on the experience now, everything feels so distant. But yeah, I think I speed-ran through some character development because of this film. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all that.

5. What were your initial reactions when watching the audience talking about your film in the feedback video?

I used to be terrified of showing my art to anyone, as a child I’d always cover my drawings so no one would see them, but the more I share the more I grow to like it. I think a film really needs that final stage of actually being screened and discussed. Hearing everyone’s thoughts gives me a better understanding of my own work and sometimes viewers have such apt remarks that it makes me realize all the choices I made subconsciously. It was lovely seeing the feedback video and I’m glad people seemed to connect with the film.

6. When did you realize that you wanted to make films?

It’s hard to say because I’ve always loved films but I didn’t see myself as someone who could fit the job. When you think of a director, the stereotypical image is a confident middle-aged man with a loud voice and commanding aura, which as much as I admire it, is not something I could relate to as a young girl. But I loved making silly home videos with my friends and experimenting on iMovie. In high school I joined a film club and when it was time to apply to universities I ended up applying only to one – Baltic Film, Media and Arts School. My idea of what a director is and should be has developed since, and I now think there is space for people like me to also get their ideas on the screen.

7. What film have you seen the most in your life?

I’m a huge Lady Gaga fan (like to an unhealthy degree), so when A Star is Born (2018) came out I must have seen it in cinemas at least 10 times and many times at home since. I also really love Damien Chazelle’s directorial style and keep coming back to his films, La La Land and Whiplash have altered my brain chemistry at this point.

8. What other elements of the festival experience can we and other festivals implement to satisfy you and help you further your filmmaking career?

The whole experience has been great and I have no real recommendations, just a hearty thanks!

9. You submitted to the festival via FilmFreeway. How has your experiences been working on the festival platform site?

FilmFreeway has been a joy. It was intimidating at first because I didn’t know much about the process of submitting to festivals, but once my producer and I put our heads together, we were able to come up with a strategy and fill out all the necessary information. After that everything has been easy to navigate.

10. What is your favorite meal?

Pasta Carbonara.

11. What is next for you? A new film?

Well, after Meliora I told everyone that I would never make another film… but I’ve had a year of rest and relaxation and I think I’m ready to get back in the saddle now. My head is buzzing with different ideas and currently I’m developing a new short, something completely different from Meliora. It’s exciting to work on a creative project again.