VANISHING: A LOVE STORY, 107min., USA
Directed by Sandra Luckow
Vanishing: A Love Story is a documentary about award-winning novelist Cai Emmons and her loving, open-hearted journey towards death. In 2021, at the age of 70, Cai was diagnosed with ALS. Taking place in 2022, during the last six-months Cai’s life, the film is, first and foremost, a story about the agency of expression —having a voice to create a legacy in the world.
https://instagram.com/luckowsandra
Get to know the filmmaker:
1. What motivated you to make this film?
Vanishing: A Love Story is a continuation of my documentary film practice. I like to think of myself as an artisanal portraitist. Cai and I met when I was teaching at Yale University and she returned as part of the First Women at Yale 50th reunion. What began as long, rambling Zoom conversations over “quarantinis” during Covid lockdown became something far deeper when Cai was diagnosed with Bulbar onset ALS in early 2022. When I offered to visit her in Eugene, Oregon and perhaps capture some footage for her family on my iPhone, Cai — with the imagination of a novelist and the instincts of a filmmaker — responded with a full shot list. That moment transformed a personal gesture into a documentary feature. Her insistence that I film her death with dignity, and include it in the film, became a non-negotiable condition of her participation. That kind of trust and creative courage is what truly motivated me to see this film through.
2. From the idea to the finished product, how long did it take for you to make this film?
I began raising money in April of 2022 through a GoFundMe that would allow me to drive across the country to Eugene, Oregon. I started shooting in June of 2022, and my last shoot was Cai’s Death with Dignity on January 2, 2023. The film premiered in June of 2025 — so from first funding to world premiere, almost exactly three years.
3. How would you describe your film in two words!?
Life/Death.
4. What was the greatest obstacle you faced in completing this film?
There were many, but perhaps the most profound was the moment I learned Cai had moved her Death with Dignity date to January 2nd after a traumatic New Year’s Eve emergency with her feeding tube. I had a ticket to be in Eugene on January 5th, planning to be in the room on her birthday, January 15th. There was no physical way to get there in time from New York City. The Zoom recording, set up by a close friend of hers, became the only option. Beyond the logistics, I also faced considerable pushback from trusted colleagues who felt the film should not open with her death. Their resistance only made me more determined to begin the film exactly that way.
5. What is your favorite stage of the filmmaking process?
Without question, Production and Post-Production. I love the beautiful chaos of production — the problem solving, the spontaneity, the energy of capturing something real in the moment. And then in post-production, I especially love the mix. That’s the moment it truly feels like a movie. Everything comes together — the sound, the music, the picture — and suddenly what lived in your imagination is right there in front of you.
6. When did you realize that you wanted to make films?
As a little kid, when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say “a memory-maker.” I wasn’t entirely sure what I meant by that at the time, but looking back, what I do now fulfills that job description perfectly. The realization crystallized in college when I was finally able to take a filmmaking class and ultimately made a film for my senior thesis called Sharp Edges. I was hooked. I never looked back.
7. What film have you seen the most times in your life?
Probably All About Eve — but there are many films from the Classic Hollywood period, roughly 1930 to 1960, that are right behind it in the count. Sunset Boulevard is right up there, and in fact became the structural model for Vanishing: A Love Story. The connection felt natural — after all, Sunset Boulevard opens with a dead person narrating their own story, which gave Cai and me a creative blueprint for how to approach death in our film. I have seen virtually everything Bette Davis, Katharine Hepburn, Barbara Stanwyck, and Audrey Hepburn ever made — many times over. Those women were forces of nature on screen and I never tire of watching them.
8. In a perfect world: Who would you like to work with/collaborate with on a film?
In a perfect world, I want to work with strong, creative women. Full stop. Every collaboration I seek out is also an opportunity to make a meaningful contribution toward equalizing the power disparity that still exists in this industry. That is not just a creative preference — it is a commitment.
9. How has your experience been working on FilmFreeway?
Why do we have to talk about FilmFreeway?! It’s a blessing and a curse. As a platform it does what it needs to do, but I wish they would police it more rigorously. There are far too many scam festivals taking advantage of young filmmakers who are desperate for laurels. That is something the industry really needs to address — protecting emerging voices who are putting their hearts and resources into their work.
10. What is your favorite meal?
My favorite meals are the ones I create myself — where the cooking is as much a part of the experience as the eating. I love taking lesser cuts of meat and transforming them through braising and slow cooking into something deeply flavorful and unexpected. Everything made from scratch. There is something deeply satisfying about the patience those techniques require — and the result is always worth it. I suppose it’s not so different from filmmaking.
11. What is next for you? A new film?
I am currently making a documentary short called Tree & Me — about a giant Eastern cottonwood in Inwood Hill Park that was the only living thing I touched during six months of Covid lockdown. On the surface it is about that profound and unexpected connection, but at its heart it is really about discovering over 160 years of history of my greater New York neighborhood. I am also working on a one woman theater show about ventriloquism called Let Me Explain You.So yes — there is plenty keeping me busy!
